Once upon a time, long, long ago, when we were young, our brains were a blank slate. On these slates people, mostly our parents and family at first, and then teachers and pastors and friends, eventually colleagues and news media and all other sources, would write. This is how we learned, matured, and developed.
Because the people who were doing the original writing loved us and wanted us to grow to be independent and successful adults, they taught us to the best of their abilities. No parents ever intentionally mistaught their child the order of the alphabet, right? But, over time, things change. For instance, using not our alphabet but a foreign alphabet, it turns out I could not correctly teach my children the alphabet I learned in 8th grade when they took their foreign language requirement 30 years later. Sure enough, this other alphabet had changed and some of the letters no longer exist. So while I had no intention of misteaching my children, without better, up-to-date information, I would have mistaught my children.
Now, that’s a very obvious example. Not all situations are so obvious. But I’m becoming aware that more and more of what I was taught, and what I have taught, is no longer completely accurate. Even worse, in some cases it is still correct, but in others, it isn’t. Or, it correctly applies to some people, but not others.
I hope I haven’t lost you. Let’s get specific. I have half a dozen examples of misteachings that I’m acutely aware today and I’d like to briefly discuss a few of these, followed by what to do when you find yourself in similar straits. Let’s begin.
Because of the current state of our economy, and the number of people who have approached me recently about careers, let’s start with how to find a job. In the olden days, way back in the 80’s, I knew how to find a job. It was all about getting that Sunday paper and spending Sunday afternoon typing cover letters and copying resumes. Not all jobs were found through the Sunday paper, but enough were that it was a legitimate mode of communication.
Have you seen a job section in a Sunday paper lately? It’s thin. The rules for how to find a job have changed. Now you need to be on-line and signed up with any and/or all of the career opportunities networks out there. And networking is an even better way to find a job! The adage, “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know,” has actually never been more true. And if you don’t know them personally, find someone who does and connect with them. The computer again makes this easy—but it’s not what anybody my age was originally taught! The rules changed when we weren’t looking.
This has been hard on some students of mine. I have a great example of a student who just graduated from College. He’s been taking the advice of his Dad, until he realized, it wasn’t working! He called me, and much to his father’s chagrine, met with me to discuss his job search. I gently explained that his father hadn’t intentionally mislead him, but that the rules had changed in the 30 years since his dad had looked for a job, so the information he shared was just out of date. Not an intentional foul, but misteaching nonetheless.
Okay, example number two: communication. Of course we all learned to communicate, but we didn’t all learn to do it well. The way people learn to communicate is by watching how it is modeled. If your family is full of yellers, you’ll learn that yelling is an acceptable, even appropriate, means of communication. If whining gets you your way, then even as an adult, you may use this as a primary means of communication. But what happens in the business world, or in adult relationships, when our means of communication isn’t acceptable, or doesn’t work? We need to relearn how to communicate. How? First, by watching modeling methods that do work. I remember hearing a colleague say to another, “I hear what you’re saying, but I’m making a decision to go in another direction.” Wow, that stopped me in my tracks! The person acknowledged the other’s ideas, but made it clear that the decision was his responsibility and he would go another route. I could do that, now that I had heard it. I would never have been able to come up with it on my own.
But what if we don’t even know we’ve been mistaught? Jumping into the Christian message here, what if we were mistaught how to get into heaven? Please don’t be upset if you’re learning here for the first time that you can’t earn your way into heaven. Ephesians 2:8-9 makes it very clear: “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith00and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.” If we could earn our way to heaven, we could then boast in our good works, and this verse clearly negates that thought. Romans 9:16 echoes the thought: “It does not, therefore, depend on man’s desire or effort, but on God’s mercy.”
The entire gospel is given in Romans 10:9: That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus I Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” Once you truly meditate on this verse, you’ll see that if you were mistaught, the truth is here—you have to admit you’re a sinner (Romans 3:23), believe that Jesus died on the cross for you, and confess Him as Lord, asking Jesus to live in your heart. No matter what you were taught, this is the truth of it.
The famous verse of John 3:16 states clearly that God loved the world so much that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believes in Jesus doesn’t have to go to h, e, double hockey sticks. And John 14:6 has Jesus, Himself, saying the ONLY WAY to get to heaven is to accept Him as a personal Savior.
Or maybe you weren’t mistaught that works will get you into heaven, but you just never heard the message that you have to have a personal relationship with Jesus. For all the stories and messages you heard, John 14:6 never seemed to be mentioned. That’s not exactly mistaught, it’s more non-taught. God is aware of your need to hear the truth, and you’ll hear it, as promised is Romans 1:20, “For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—His eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.”
As a teenager, years before I would come to saving knowledge of Christ, I was asked point blank if I was going to heaven. At the time I didn’t know I wasn’t, and I tried to dodge the question, but was told it was a yes or no answer. So I answered in the affirmative. Then I was told that I could never go to heaven because I had told God what to do. Excuse me? Talk about being set up.
On a wee bit easier level, what if we were mistaught how to pray? I’ve had people say to me, “I don’t know how to pray.” The obvious answer is that prayer is just talking with God, yet I heard a sermon once where the Pastor very specifically said that prayer is not talking with God—how do we reconcile fact and fiction?
Well, the first thing to do is GO TO THE WORD. Yep, that’s where you’re going to find the answers for yourself. Don’t rely on others to interpret Scripture for you. Read it yourself. There are lots of commentaries out there to help you, but reading it for yourself will give you an intimacy you can’t get anywhere else.
In the case of being told I can’t go to heaven because I told God what to do, the teenager who told me that might not have read the truth himself. In fact, the Bible clearly outlines how to get to heaven, and it also clearly states that God can’t lie, or else He wouldn’t be perfect. So in fact, we can accept Jesus as our Savior, know that we’re destined for heaven, and tell others about it. How do I know? I’ve read it.
Still, there are other ways to learn if you’ve been mistaught. Proverbs 15:22 tells us that wisdom is found in counsel: “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. In 1 Kings 22:5, Jehoshophat also said to the kind of Israel, “First seek the counsel of the Lord.” So find a counselor. Look for someone to mentor you. Call a friend and ask to be accountability partners. You’ll learn and grow by surrounding yourself with others who are more mature.
General study is a great way to learn general truths. Even if you’re not trying to learn the answer to a specific question, learn and study the Bible just to see what you don’t know. “The fear (respect) of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,” Psalms 111:10.
Prayer can answer a myriad of questions. When you don’t know what to do, bring your questions before the Lord. He’ll answer you one way or another, and you’ll learn and grow in the truth. For a great model of prayer, go to Matthew 6:9, where you’ll find what is commonly called the Our Father. Prayer can also be greatly accomplished with the acronym ACTS – Adoration of the Lord, Confession of your sins, Thanksgiving for your blessings, and Supplication, where you state your requests. Remember, Jesus cried out to his Daddy, Abba, the night before He faced the cross, recognizing that all things are possible through the Father. Jesus then continued to say, “but not My will, by Thy will be done,” Mark 14:36. Pray, but pray in God’s will.
Be open to new ideas and concepts. I have made myself open to lots of ideas in my life, but as I study and learn, I reject the ideas that are contrary to Scripture. You can’t serve 2 masters, and I choose to follow the living God. Therefore, I can’t embrace any edicts that counterfeit or oppose the truth of Scripture. But, there are lots of ideas that can co-exist—don’t allow yourself to get caught up in those discussions. Keep centered on what’s important.
Memorize Scripture. Okay, this was a tough concept for me 25 years ago. I had never memorized Scripture growing up, and since I had a Bible, couldn’t I just look up whatever I needed to know? Well, that worked for me until I came upon Philippians 4:6 –“be anxious about nothing, but in all things, through prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, present your request to the Lord.” I found that verse and read it so many times—I had a HUGE issue with worry at the time—that I memorized it. And I learned that I LIKED knowing the verse. I could recall it any time, whether or not I had a Bible in my hand. And when other people were telling me their problems, I could recite it to them, and they felt better. After that, I was on my way. I’ve had peaks and valleys with Bible memorization, but it’s something I still do today, and I still love.
The next idea is rather hard to hear, so please be ready—avoid unhealthy people. So many of us learn things from our family, and while we’ve grown and matured and are ready to accept truth over what we thought was real, not everyone has matured with us. So, it may be better that you avoid sharing your thoughts with people who don’t have your best interests in mind, or who aren’t very supportive of you, even if they share your blood type. Proverbs 18:24b – “ . . . but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” The Lord included this verse in Scripture for a reason, and I can’t be the only person in the history of the world who’s needed to hear it. I’m not saying you can’t celebrate holidays with these people, but avoid certain conversations when you do see them if they’re going to tear you down.
Finally, decide now whom you’ll serve (“But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord,” Joshua 24:15) and stand up for right. Even if you were mistaught something originally, it’s never too late to learn the truth and stand on it. Educate yourself and you’ll learn to not depart from it.
In Christ,
LynnMarie
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